Beautiful Tragedy

& all I want right now is to be with him. -__- 

I need to be moved out already, just so I can go see him whenever I want for however long.

But anyways, it’s my 21st birthday & I’m not turning up…. just yet.

so i’m not the girl that I used to be, well at least some parts of me.
I color my hair wild colors: purple, pink, red violet.
I have 8g tunnels & I love it.
I want my nose pierced, belly button re-pierced & a tattoo.
I want to go hunting, fishing & play paintball.
I wanna fall in love with someone I never expected to.

I still play xbox games.
I love to go mudding or go to the mud ralllies.
I will forever keep my best friends close & my enemies closer.
I will always know where I came from & who my family is.

I’ve had people tell me recently…

You don’t look like the gaming type.
You don’t look like the type to go to mud rallies or go mudding.

Obviously you don’t know me like you thought you did.

What happened to the old me? The one who was in love with her best friend & would get up early in the morning just to skype with him from across the world. The girl who didn’t care what anyone thought. The one who misses watching Harry Potter while cuddled up on the couch, play fight in the livingroom of the house & got surprise morning visits on their birthday. What happened to the girl who wore her sparkly converses? Her panda hat? Her panda earmuffs? Just because he thought she was cute. 

Maybe she grew up. Maybe she realized it would never work. 

But what if she misses all of that & him?